What types of things do boys find attractive in a girl? What do they find unattractive? Without demeaning yourself, What can you do to draw the attention of a decent young man?
WHAT TO DO
Know your own mind and heart. You likely felt an increased attraction to boys soon after you entered puberty. You may have felt drawn to more than one boy. That's normal. But if you had quickly given your heart to the first boy who made your pulse race, you would have risked stunting your emotional and spiritual growth. It takes time to develop positive personal traits, to 'make your mind over' on important matters, and to reach some of your own goals. True, many boys are attracted to girls who have not yet formed strong convictions or who are naive. However, such boys are primarily interested in the girl's body, not in who she is as a person. The fact is, a balanced young man will look for a girl who can bring her strenghts to a partnership.
DEVELOP RESPECT FOR OTHERS. Just as you have need to be loved, the boys you know have a deep desire to be respected. It's no coincidence that the Bible says to the husband that he should love his wife but that the wife should have "deep respect" for her husband. In harmony with this insight, one survey of hundreds of young men found that more than 60% said they valued respect more than love. Over 70% of the older men surveyed made that same choice. Respect doesn't mean surrender- that you must give up your right to hold a different opinion and to express it. But the way you express your opinion will likely determine if you repel or attract a young man. If you consistently contradict or correct what he says, he may feel that you have little respect for him. Yet, if you acknowledge his viewpoint and comment on what you find praiseworthy, he will be more likely to accept and value your opinion. Of course, a discerning young man will also notice if you treat members of your family and others with respect.
DRESS MODESTLY, AND MAINTAIN GOOD HYGIENE. Your dress and grooming are like loudspeakers that broadcast your inner thoughts and attitudes. Long before you start to talk to a boy, your attire has expressed volumes about you. If your clothing is well arranged and modest, it will send a very positive message. If it is provocative or sloppy, the message will be loud and clear and negative.
DON'T FLIRT. Women have the ability to exert tremendous influence on men. That power to attract can be used for good and for bad. If you test out the power you have on every boy you meet, you'll likely gain a reputation as a flirt.
DON'T BE CLINGY. When a couple marry, they become what the Bible calls "one flesh." At that stage of the relationship, both husband and wife give up many of the freedoms they may have had when single; really, they become committed to each other. However, if you're just getting to know a young man, you don't have the right to expect that level of accountability from him, nor he from you. If you're hasty in demanding his undivided attention, you may sabotage your friendship.
APPRECIATE YOUR OWN VALUE. You likely know girls who would do anything just to gain the attention and approval of a boy. Others may lower their standards just so they can have boyfriend or even a husband. However, the principle 'you reap what you sow' applies in this matter. If you don't value yourself and the standards you try to live by, you're likely to attract boys who don't value you or your standards either. The fact is, not all boys will like you and that can be a good thing! But if you are conscious of caring for both your external beauty and your inner beauty, you will have 'Great values in the eyes of God' and you will attract the type of young man that you deserve.
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