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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Can Your Marriage Be Saved?

The owners acknowledge that their house is in poor condition, but they have decided to restore it.

WOULD you like to do the same with your marriage? If so, where can you begin? Try the following suggestions.

  • Make a resolve.
    Agree with your mate that you will work together to restore peace to your marriage .Try writing your decisions on paper. when both you and your spouse are committed, saving your marriage becomes a team project.

  • Identify the problem.
    What is it that has interfered with your marriage? In one sentence; write out what you think is lacking or what you wish could change. Understanding, the problem you identify may be different from that noted by your spouse.

  • Set a goal.
    Where would you like your marriage to be six months from now? What specific improvements would you like to see? Write your goal on paper. When you have a clear vision as to what you need in your marriage, your goal will be easier to attain.

  • Apply Bible counsel.
    Once you have identified your problem and determined the improvements you would like to make, look to the Bible for advice. Its principles are timeless, and they really work. For example, the Bible encourages you and your spouse to be forgiving. Indeed, the Bible says that "it is beauty... to pass over transgression."
    Even if at first your efforts seem futile, do not give up! The book The case for marriage reports the encouraging results of one study, stating: "The truth is shocking: 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier." Even couples who described themselves as very unhappy experienced a turnaround.
    Perhaps the same can be true for you. For instance, many marriages improve when spouses are kind and tenderly compassionate and freely forgave each other. Wives have learned the value of displaying a "quiet and mild spirit," and husbands have experienced the benefits of not being bitterly angry with their wives.