You just know this is the one you will marry. You enjoy each other's company, you share common interests, and you sense a mutual attraction. Then, suddenly, the relationship dies, exploding in a burst of anger or melting in tears. In his book TheChemistry of Love, Dr. Michael Liebowitz likens the onset of love to the rush of a powerful drug. But like a drug, such love can trigger raging 'withdrawal symptons' if it dies. And it makes little difference whether the love is mere infatuation or the 'real thing.' Both can create dizzying highs and agonizing lows if the relationship ends. The feelings of rejection, hurt, and perhaps outrage that come in the wake of a breakup may thus sour your view of the future. One young woman speaks of herself as 'wounded' because of being jilted. "I can only be a Hi, how are you? person (with the opposite sex) now," she says. "I am not letting any person get close to me." The deeper the commitment you feel in a relationship, the deeper the hurts its breakup can cause. Yes, indeed, the freedom to court whom you please carries a hefty price tag: the real Click Here!
possibility of rejection. There simply is no guarantee that true love will grow. So if someone began courting you with honest intentions but later concluded that marriage would be unwise, you have not necessarily been dealt with unfairly. The problem is, even when a breakup is handled with the utmost tact and kindness, you are still bound to feel hurt and rejected. This is no reason to lose your self-esteem, however. The fact that you were not "right" in this person's eyes does not mean that you will not be just right in the eyes of someone else! Try putting the defunct romance in cool perspective. The breakup may very well have spotlighted disturbing things about the person you were involved with- emotional immaturity, indecision, inflexibility,intolerance, a lack of consideration for your feelings. These are hardly desirable qualities in a marriage mate. What if the breakup is entirely one-sided and you are convinced that a marriage would have worked out well? Certainly you have a right to let the other person know how you feel. Perhaps there have simply been some misunderstandings. Emotional ranting and raving accomplishes little. And if he or she insists on splitting up, there is no need for you to humiliate yourself, tearfully begging for the affections of someone who obviously has no feelings for you. Solomon said there is "a time to seek and a time to give up as lost." What if you have strong reason to suspect that you were merely been used by someone who never had a sincere interest in marriage in the first place? You need not resort to vindictive reprisals. Be assured that his or her deviousness is not unnoticed by God. His word says: "The cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism." From time to time you may still be tormented by loneliness or romantic memories. If so, it's all right to have a good cry. It also helps to get busy, perhaps in some physical activity or the christian ministry. Keep your mind on things that are cheerful and upbuilding. Confide in a close friend. Your parents may also be of great comfort, even if you feel you are old enough to be independent. And above all, confide in Jehovah God. You may now see the need to work on certain aspects of your personality. Your vision of what you want in a marriage mate may be clearer than ever. And having loved and lost, you may decide to handle courtship a bit more prudently should a desirable person come along again- the likelihood of which may be greater than you think.
No comments:
Post a Comment