Marital Fidelity

A successful marriage requires giving "exclusive devotion" to your mate. What does this mean? While it is normal to have friends of both sexes outside marriage. your marriage mate has first claim on your time, attention, and emotional energy. Any relationship that takes what rightly belongs to your mate and gives it to someone else is a form of "infidelity,"even if no sexual activity is involved.
How could such a relationship develop? Someone of the opposite sex may seem more attractive or empathetic than your spouse. Spending time with that one in the workplace or in a social setting can lead to discussing personal matters, including problems or disappointments in your marriage. An emotional dependency can grow. Communication in person, by telephone, or through online chat could become a betrayal of trust. Marriage mates properly expect that certain topics will be discussed only with each other and that their "confidential talk" will be kept private.
Beware of rationalizing that no romantic feelings exist when in fact they may! "The heart is treacherous," says Jeremiah 17:9. If you have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex, ask yourself: Am I defensive or secretive about the relationship? Would I be comfortable if my mate overheard our conversations? How would I feel if my mate cultivated a similar friendship?
A improper relationship can lead to marital disaster, since emotinal closeness paves the way for eventual sexual intimacy. As Jesus warned, "out of the heart come adulteries." However, even if adultery does not result, the damage caused by loss of trust can be extremely difficult to repair. A wife named Katherine said: "when I discovered that Stanley was secretly talking on the phone several times a day with another woman, my heart was broken. It is very hard to believe that they were not involved sexually. I am not sure that i will ever trust him."
Keep friendships with members of the opposite sex within appropriate boundaries. Do not ignore the presence of improper feelings or rationalize impure motives. If you sense that a relationship threatens your marriage, act quickly to limit or end it. The Bible says: "shrewd is the one that has seen calamity and proceeds to conceal himself."
Our creator intended that marriage should be the closest relationship between two humans. He said that a husband and wife "must become one flesh." The one flesh bond involves more than sexual intimacy. It includes a close emotional bond, which is strenghtened by unselfishness, trust, and mutual respect. Applying these principles will help protect your marriage from damage caused by mental and emotional unfaithfulness.